If you're brave to say GOODBYE , life will reward you with a new HELLO.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

It's been long i didn't update my blog..3 or 4 months? haha. For sure, there're a lot of changes happened. 
Firstly, i'm now having my 4months internship in InterContinental KL. Okie..i know, this hotel is strange for you guys. 
Anyone heard about Nikko Hotel before? Before last year Nikko Hotel was still available, but now it became InterContinental KL. 

Last month i had my first month of training in Banquet Operation. It's my ever best working experience! I love all the colleagues there. They're just so nice to me =) 
I really enjoyed and appreciated those working moment with them. Hehee, and i know that i'm loved by banquet bros ^^ coz I was the princess among them. Why? Imma the only Chinese and the only girl~~~lalala 

After i left banquet, my buddy Nazri, my sista Teguh, my lovely captain Suddin and my boss Daniel, they texted me, whatsapp me, fb inbox me. Hahaha~ they miss me so much and ME TOO!! 



























As you can see from the pica, my make up skill is much more better than previous. 
Practice makes perfect, it's true. Every single working day i have to spend 30minutes for drawing a mask on my face. It's tired but it's interesting! Anyway, i feel good =P 

My selca in guest toilet when i was working in Banquet. Hahaha. My fatty cousin told me, i looked like a manager in this pica. But so sad, i was just a trainee~ Maybe few years later...heehee who know? 



I miss you guys so much ='( thanks for giving me chance to work with the banquet team. Thanks for teaching and sharing a lot of experiences with me! Wish u guys all the best in the future~ I hope that we can meet at somewhere in the Earth after i finish my internship, my studies. Thank you Nizam, Jusri, Daniel,Suddin, Zaidi, Ramjan, Ragunat, Najwa, Nazri, Sabuj, Ali, Sumon, Teguh-my best sista and Banglassss. 

Today is my off, that's why i manage to update my blog haha. Almost 2 years, my place still don't have internet connection. No why. Just i'm lazy enough to apply. LOL. Such a good reason for myself. I'm salute to my laziness -.-

I've only a day off for every week! OMG. So lifeless. It's okay to pay me 5 bucks for a day, sounds pity rite? even worse than a Bangla's salary. But can you give me 2 days off for a week? Feel like dying to wake up at 6 everyday in the morning. I just can't stand for waking up early in the morning and repeat the same thing. LOL. 
Even though he gives me morning calls everyday, i feel warm, but, still...i hate to wake up at 6 =.= 

The He appeared in my life since few months ago. I know that i got a Zing on him when the first time we met. Yes, he is always good to me and i admit it's sweet.I got the feeling to stop it coz i know flirtationship is just a bullshit. It doesn't guarantee both of us a good result at last. 
Alright, it makes you feel good now, but after this, who'll be the one who cry for few months because of the fuxking sweet moments we used to have? Girl, think about it. 

Ahhh...i remember something. Know what? I was freaking lucky =P 
Few days ago, i had a date with him at Pavilion. That day, I was waiting him at Times, a bookshop in there. I was reading a book, 100 must-visit places in the world while waiting for him at the reading area. I leave both of my phones at the sofa i sited! After he came to me, we straight went to Sushi Tei to have dinner. 30minutes later, i just realized that i leave my phones at the sofa. LOL. Stupid me. 

So bad of me laa. He asked me continue makan and he purposely rushed to Level 6 helped me look for my phones. Thanks GOD! My phones were still there. Actually there're thousands of reasons in my mind i thought about to tell my parents how i lost my phones. HAHA. So lame of me. Anyway I've to admit =l things always go well when you're beside me. Thank you so much! 

Byebyeee...=)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

今天是母亲节 
可是昨天我们已经庆祝了 =D 
今年的礼物是我亲手做的蛋糕 哈哈
没办法 现在有点经济困难 而且蛋糕都不便宜 ==
是我人生中第二次做的蛋糕 是成功的! 



额...是有点丑 可是婆婆说很漂亮 哈哈 顿时让我心花怒放啊 
婆婆 我明年会做得更漂亮 xD 
以前我从来不想进厨房 可是现在变了耶 
我是怎么了 我也不知道 哈哈
我想学下厨 想做的突然好多好多
我的兴趣越来越广泛了 真糟糕 


真抱歉啊 世界上最可爱的外婆和三八的妈妈都是我的 =DDD 

昨天晚上爸爸很迟才回家 大家心知肚明 
可是不要紧 我们依然很愉快地度过了母亲节 
妈妈,爸爸不爱 我们爱 =) 
婆婆,外公不在 我们在 =)

今天下午爸爸是有带我们和外婆一起去吃午饭补庆祝啦 
可是气氛好僵 好不喜欢
爸爸今天工作时受伤了 看着他的伤口我觉得好不安乐 
手指缝了2针 额头还擦伤 =( 
年纪逐渐大的爸爸 拜托你不要再那么逞强了 

妈妈还有从小就跟妈妈没两样照顾我的外婆 :
你们要每一天都很幸福很快乐地生活下去
2位在我生命里扮演着很重要的角色 你们必须要很健康地看着我成长 下次轮到我照顾你们 =) 
叛逆期的我真的很不乖 不管我做什么都得到外婆的谅解 这让我很惭愧 谢谢你的宽容
妈妈独自在外国辛苦打拼换来我们更安乐的生活 这是不能用言语感谢的 是必须用一生去行动的 谢谢你的无私
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 我爱她们   我爱她们爱我 


Just let it be

对 医生说的跟我的猜测全中 
她只花了3分钟证实 就一句: Vitiligo 
现在有在涂药 效果不知道 一个月后再判断
药效因人而异 有的痊愈 有的完全不见效
如果涂药不行...就真的要变黑了 
她推荐了一种让体内产生黑色素的药
总的来说是 一种吃了会让皮肤变黑的药 
可是怎么办 我不想 =X

从岛旅游回来后 晒黑的我的额头更明显
杨妈妈把我骂惨了 
明知道自己不能继续晒太阳 还要去沙滩
还因为这样跟她吵了起来 
她就是一直不停地在提醒我 我有这样的病
她说的每一句都正中我难过的
妈妈 其实我不是不在乎 这是我的脸 我比谁都更在乎 

我已经尽量不去想 更多更多的以后 我只是想暂时就这样
想太多只会让自己不停地去在意 只会让自己意志消沉 何必呢?
药我涂了 现在静观起变好吗 
当然现在这种特殊情况发生了 我必须要有plan B 
我的未来计划暂时hold住吧 我会实现的

Siwon

Friday, April 27, 2012

Sorry, bae

用front cam照的好不清楚 
是一块比50仙大一点的白色块 
希望现阶段是稳定期 但愿它维持这个面积
会变成一辈子的印记? 我也不知道


刚刚又去google看资料
现在我的相信已经增加至80%了 我也认了  
原来毛发变白已经属于严重阶段了
毛囊里的黑色素已经损坏 要医治就更难了
因为这样所以会中皮肤癌的机会比别人更高
我当初应该乖乖听话的 它也许不会恶化


今早起床时又有新发现
左边的眉毛开始变白了
应该是在发展期 不知道明天起床又会轮到哪里


恩 我坦然地接受这个不争的事实
一直哭只会让自己更累 对病情也没有帮助
我接受 我皮肤生病了 
要开始吃帮助增加黑色素的食物了
明天才跟妈妈讨论吧  


虽然我不相信 可是这一刻我好希望奇迹发生
希望它奇迹似地慢慢消失 真心希望  
公公 这是一种对我的考验吗? 
来的太早了 =X 
人生原来可以有那么一个意外 一个突如其来的意外 


这个小女孩也患上Vitiligo
她的白色块也包围了整个右眼 所以睫毛也发白了
有点不舍得的心情
再迟些我浓密的睫毛也会这样  =(










对不起 我可爱的亲古们我不是刻意让你们担心
只是我需要一个发泄的管道 也想要写下我所有的不安
开始会很害怕 担心所有未来
一切来的太突然 我也没有plan B 
没有一个女生可以接受自己拥有这样的一张脸吧 我也不例外 
谁来告诉我 我该怎么做  


Siwon

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Keep smile , please

我要如何冷静 如何压抑
到底要用什么心情去看待
我告诉自己我很平静 顺其自然
可是完全做不到 一想到以后就好茫然
一看到妈妈眼泪就在打转
我的未来 我的梦想 该怎么办 


告诉自己往好的方面想
可是我控制不了脑袋 拼命往不好的想
为什么要自己一个人哭那么惨
不是世界末日 就算是我也不会这样
不哭了 比起更多不幸的孩子 我是幸福的 


妈妈从起床后就不停地到房间帮我涂药
好难过 我不知道要怎样面对这样的妈妈
绝对不让眼泪当她面前留下 
刚才坐在外公照片前跟他哭诉
我问他为什么是我 我做错了什么
外公没有回答我 


杨惜雯 请拜托停止哭泣影响情绪 医生说要保持心情开朗 =)
我相信就算天塌下来 爸爸妈妈依然在我身边的 


Siwon

Im afraid

我应该早点去看医生的 
也忘了那块白斑是几时冒出来的, 2个月前? 3个月前? 
因为它不痛不痒没有对我有任何影响也不太明显
所以我没有去理它 


可是最近我发现我白头发越来越多 
照镜子时突然发现不只额头那里有白色块
原来整个左眼已经被白色块包围着 
嘴角还有一小块 
前天还发现我的几根睫毛也变白了 


我一直认为杨妈妈的担心是多余的 
她从上个月开始就不停要我去看医生 可是到今天我依然没去
刚才还告诉她既来之,则安之


不过越想越觉得奇怪 所以去google了 
我找到一个跟我症状类似的
每看到下个我符合的特征 心就会跳慢半排 
虽然还没有去看皮肤专科 可是我觉得70%机会是它 
这个全球只有1%-2%人会得到的不幸 好像正在靠近我了


白癜风
以局部或泛发性色素脱失形成白斑为特征,是一种获得性局限性或泛发性皮肤色素脱失症,是一影响美容的常见皮肤病,易诊断,治疗难。


看到无法根治这个字眼时 我有种得了癌症的心情
那种眼泪随着滑鼠往下滑动而落下的心情 原来那么糟糕
未来的我会怎么样我不敢想  为什么是我? 
为什么皮肤病这辈子都要跟着我? 
跟了我19年 我以为都结束了 原来它根本没有离开过
不管是季节性的脱皮 脚跟破裂流血 手脚毛孔阻塞 皮肤炎 我都忍过了
可是这次为什么是脸? 一个无法对别人隐藏的部分 要我怎么去不介意...


医生说病人的心理情绪跟病情有莫大的关系
在妈妈面前我还是会继续"既来之,则安之"的
如果我难过,她一定更担心的 
要保持心情愉快开朗 不介意别人的眼光 (最近别人都慢慢发现白色块的存在了)
Think POSITIVE  


ps: 如果检查之后,是真的,那么就会跟Michael Jackson得到一样的病 是我的荣幸吗? 


Siwon

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Back from there to here


Here a short update of My 1st time Sg trip =) 
awww...it has been a while since my last post 
before this busy for my final exam , but after exam started busy of planning trip 


In fact, i supposed go to sg and have internship interview 
but what the heck , Eugene told us the interview delayed to August 
okay FINE ... ! he had broke our expectations and disappointed us a lot 
he will never know how great we expected for the sg interview trip since LAST YEAR ~!


we had prepared everything needed and ready to the trip seriously...
all of us even changed for few hundreds bucks sg dollar 
he brought us this bad news early in the morning on the first day of exam 
i didn't give him a dam just wanna meet him asap to know the details 


hopefully he wont lie to us 
u're my friend , i wish to trust u 
so , i willing to give u one last chance though u cheated us once before 


i thought i have to stay at home for this 2 weeks sem-break 
but who knows , pan joyenn suggested go to sg for backpacking travel on wednesday night 
she always so random o.o 
i decided to go because i don't know how to tell papa that i didn't go to interview ( but mama knew about that >< ) 
he was like dam care about it .. i don't know how to open my mouth to tell him this fact.  


that's why i went to sg for 3D2N =) 
we had stayed at a quite budgeted hostel , took public transport to every tourist spots , looked to the map of mrt all the time , ate alot of tasty food , drank a lot expensive mineral water (costs $2 for each 500ml wadafak) , saw a lot sg leng zai ( seriously lengzai everywhere in SG~! why huh? ) 




after 3days , my belly came out >< wadafak it's freaking obvious now ZZ! have to start on diet today onward lols
by the way my skin looked healthy after sun-bathed at SG *cough cough 
now the white spot on my forehead is dam visible... =(
omg mama sure nag nag nag nonstop~ give me a stapler please im so gonna staple my ears x.x


ps: now isn't the mood to share about my enjoyable SG trip , will be update soon =P




Siwon